Shadows Of Past

We all go through that feeling of emptiness, heart break, it’s strange, it sucks out all our emotions, tears flow tirelessly, and we are stuck in those memories, desperate to break free from them. Days, weeks, months go by, we’re still stuck in the never ending tape of our past. The feelings are burned in the fire of ignorance, of rejection, of empty words. Strange, how so many promises are broken, one can’t help but have insecurity towards life; the paranoia fills our hollow emotions, making us oblivious to happiness. Our hearts fear feelings which once were special. Trust... Love... Always... Forever...Together... Become the words which bring pain, and the memories of the love we lost, back. Strange, the sacrifices you made for her, thinking that you’ll always be together, was cursed by the flood of falseness that ripped your dreams, your love into pieces. We set fire to our insides, to keep ourselves from feeling the pain, the feelings are burned, they are dead, and they are gone. Silent screams echo in our mind, you could lie on the bed for hours and stare at empty ceiling with a mind full of thoughts, a heart full of desolated feelings. What went wrong? We blame ourselves. We dread becoming like the way we think of others, finding ourselves walking on the wrong path. We regret every sacrifice, every memory, and every sight of our love. She left. Why? How? When?

Questions become irrelevant. Love is never one sided. Some people come as blessings and some as lessons. We go to our friends, our parents, seeking answer, an answer to give to ourselves, to make us feel alive. We need a vital sign that we are still breathing, still feeling, still loving. If you find a reason, you are the lucky ones. Most of us still feel the sting of our cursed past. Months go by, you see her every day, you are getting used to the scars that are left by her, and you wish she would come back, but you wish she never does. You wish she feels every bit of pain that you have felt, to know how painful it is, yet, you want to protect her from every hurtful thing. You wish you could go far away, but you have no options left, you have to bear it all. It makes you stronger. Wish there was an easier way to become strong, but there isn't  Life goes on, you wake up, but she isn't the first thing on your mind anymore.You see her but you don’t feel anything anymore. She is just another stranger. Memories become a memory of distant past. Tears have dried up. And the smile on your face says it all, you are free. Free from the agony. You erase all the memories, pictures, words, names, numbers, songs which once meant everything. You begin a new life; it’s a dawn of your day. And one day maybe you’ll find yourself writing your final say on the lessons you learnt from your past, how it felt to go through heartache. One day you will listen to a song which makes you write it. I did. I know how it feels. I am here. Writing…Setting fire to my insides for fun… and she caused it. I am one of the lucky ones… moving on. You deserve better, love never dies, and it’s still inside you. Inside me. Shadows settle on the place that you left, far behind.