Conversations with you : Eighteen and other significant numbers

The funny thing about 'officially' turning an adult for me was the fact that I did - when I was in a train to Bangalore. As if life wanted me to realize that it has been a journey, and that I was about to begin a new chapter. The number itself doesn't intimidate,but it's the months that follow which do. It's safe
to say that most of us, at this age, pass out from school and enter into college.

Most of us, fail to realize how protective and safe the environment is during the period of the eighteen years that we spend with our parents and in school. I am not preaching, I did too; and I suppose that there is yet a lot for us to be exposed and vulnerable to than we estimate. The unknown- that is what strikes fear into most of us. For some of us, it's also the fear of failure to cope with circumstances and falling apart. I wonder.. is 18 the number of fear?

I remember when I was twelve years old, on the threshold of teenage. I was about to be 13, but... wasn't 13 supposed to be an unlucky and cursed number? Perhaps it was as life had been smooth sailing till that point. Yes, class 9th brought experiences which I had never been a part of hitherto. It's unnerving how similar eighteen and thirteen look to be honest! Add a mirror image of 3 to 13 and BAAM! It becomes 18! Perhaps it is so, I think many of my thoughts have taken an about turn in respect to how it had been five years ago. Radical, RADICAL changes I tell you! Its a very subtle thing- Maturity. I like to think of it as a maven seducer who stimulates the mind into mesmerism and does as it pleases without our concious knowledge. The contradiction between my pre-teen thoughts and now gives me a sense of empowerment. I am beginning to understand the restlessness and reasonless-ness in my early frame of mind as compared to the calmness and a need to implore reasons that I feel now. C'est la vie (That's life), I suppose!

Talking of numbers, I suppose the number which is most important for my entire life right now is the Class 12th board exam marks. The anticipation is nerve-wracking in itself, let alone the day of results. Anywhere above 80% marks would get you to a respectable position amongst the thousands of fellow youth who are clustered all around us. To be honest, I think nobody amongst us judges a person on their marks anymore. This aspect of understanding that a digit does not reflect a person's intellect or personality for that matter rekindles my faith in humanity a bit.
I wonder what would have happened if the Mayan Apocalyptic prediction of 2012 had come true! It would've been the best way to die, wouldn't it? You die along with the reasons that keep you alive. No regrets whatsoever! Who am I kidding though? The thought that I would have never had the experiences that I wanted to would have killed me anyways! All of us live for the dreams that we weave in our hearts, and that's a good enough reason not to give up on life... ever!

Well I won't lie but I look forward to all the numbers shape-shifting when the nights fall and days rise. The numbers that keep moving forward with the calender and become heavier. The numbers that swirl around my life with a purpose of significance. The joy that numbers give at times is beyond measure... Even though I hate maths.