Admiration and Fears

One might argue that there aren't many Indian authors who have had global success. Literary Success, in this case, measured by Nobel Prizes. However, that is not what I want to talk about.

First of all, thanking a prodigious soul in my life- one of my mentors, who has, in true senses, illuminated my path by shedding light on my dark surroundings which were never known to me... For showering me with the knowledge which I have imbibed within me to form a better understanding of life as it happens. 

She had send me a .pdf file which I had neglected and forgotten about. (Something which men and women are equally prone to.) So, clicking on the file, it opened an essay titled - " The testimony of my grandfather's book-case" written by Amitav Ghosh. Now, I previously had attempted to read (YES! Indeed! TO READ!) The Shadow Lines. An attempt made in vain as I lost the plot completely in the middle of the novel. Yet, I vowed that someday I will read it. Shadow lines being way beyond my comprehension, I read this essay. Come now, who would be naive enough to ignore a piece of writing by arguably one of the most intellectually rich authors of the country? (I apologize to those who don't indulge themselves in literary pieces, it is actually a personal bias you see? Bengalis have a tendency to look out for each other). Anyhow, the piece did actually make sense to me and certainly made sense to my hungry literary senses too. And Oh My Ghosh!(Sorry, Bad Pun) The way one thread of thought was tied to another was genius. Absolutely genius. I so dearly wish that some day I would have abilities as his... Maybe greater. (I know I am being ambitious, but ruling out the attainment of any capability would be a disregard for myself, something I refuse to do.)
Anyhow, I looked him up on google (Till this point I had never even seen his picture). He looked unconvincingly different from how I had imagined him to look! (You know the typical Bengali 'chehara'[face] with half rimmed spectacles with trickles of  sweat oozing from his hairline, twinkling like midnight stars on his forehead as the camera's flash collides with the perspiratory droplet? Yes, I had imagined him to be like that. A complete Bengali Babu). However it was the last thing that caught my attention. Of course! It had to be the queue of names that stood proud and tall after "Education :" . University of Oxford, St. Stephen's College, Delhi, University of Delhi, St Edmund Hall, Oxford, The Doon School ? Come on. Really? Goddammit! Look at those names! And here I was thinking I would someday have abilities as his. Forget Oxford University, the prospect of getting into St. Stephen's College is remote. Certainly that is the conclusion I could draw from my academic performances in the last couple of years.
*Sighs* Well. Perks of being a Class 12th student!